Funny Story 1 - Moose Never Stops
Well, it was about time I updated this! Anyway...
One Saturday night, I was in Louise Williams flat. We was sitting there, just the two of us, having a chat, when the buzzer rings. So Louise goes out to the balcony, and it is Moose, who is exceptionally drunk, asking if he can come up. He does this, and almost instantly he falls to sleep on the settee.
I am sitting next to him, and Louise is on the armchair. I am just getting into Match of the Day, when Louise starts speaking to me:
LW: "Phil..."
PK: (not taking eyes off TV) "What?"
LW:"Phil..."
PK: (same again) "What?"
LW: (angrily) "PHILIP!!"
I look up at her, and she nods in the direction of Moose's crown jewels.
It was very strange. He appeared to be asleep, and did not really move at all for a good 20 mins, but had somehow managed to pop open his trousers and leave his meat & 2 veg hanging out!!
Louise looks at me and says, "Well I aint touching it!" and walks out, shuts the living room door and leaves me with him... and 'it', to coin her phrase!
So, I grab his two hands, and use them to roll it back into his trousers, and then carefully zip him back up. To this day I wish I had caught him on the zipper!!
It is safe to say that was not the last time Moose decided to 'let it all hang out', but more on that another time...
I will update this again some point in May, but as I said in the opening post, I doubt it will happen more than once a month.
One Saturday night, I was in Louise Williams flat. We was sitting there, just the two of us, having a chat, when the buzzer rings. So Louise goes out to the balcony, and it is Moose, who is exceptionally drunk, asking if he can come up. He does this, and almost instantly he falls to sleep on the settee.
I am sitting next to him, and Louise is on the armchair. I am just getting into Match of the Day, when Louise starts speaking to me:
LW: "Phil..."
PK: (not taking eyes off TV) "What?"
LW:"Phil..."
PK: (same again) "What?"
LW: (angrily) "PHILIP!!"
I look up at her, and she nods in the direction of Moose's crown jewels.
It was very strange. He appeared to be asleep, and did not really move at all for a good 20 mins, but had somehow managed to pop open his trousers and leave his meat & 2 veg hanging out!!
Louise looks at me and says, "Well I aint touching it!" and walks out, shuts the living room door and leaves me with him... and 'it', to coin her phrase!
So, I grab his two hands, and use them to roll it back into his trousers, and then carefully zip him back up. To this day I wish I had caught him on the zipper!!
It is safe to say that was not the last time Moose decided to 'let it all hang out', but more on that another time...
I will update this again some point in May, but as I said in the opening post, I doubt it will happen more than once a month.
posted by Sheriff Kimbo | 11:07 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home